Oh My Quotable Friday + Our week in photos

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Odds are it’s safest to stay in bed.

When I was 4, I fell down the stairs.  Well frankly, I lost my temper, threw a fit until I passed out, and then fell down the stairs.

At 5, my older sister and I decided it a good decision to lock ourselves in the trunk of mom’s car.  Luckily my little sister was a tattletale and mom raced to our rescue.

When I was 8, I stole all my mom’s boxed Jell-O then ate them like Fun Dip.  Licked my finger then dipped it in the Jell-O then licked my finger. Dip, lick, repeat.  Dip, lick, repeat. 

When I was 18, I carpooled to beauty school with two fellow cosmetology students - on the back of a moped.  Three girls, three backpacks, three mannequin heads, ONE moped.

And I lived. 

Here’s the thing – my husband throws my kids in the air.  He flips them haphazardly over the couch.  He pulls them down the stairs in a laundry basket.  He sends them down the sledding hill, alone.  He pushes them too high on the swing, and makes them “fly to the sky” on the trampoline, and gives them way too many treats.  And one time I busted him doing a ‘rocket ship’ with my son.  A stunt named by the two of them which is best described as unsafe for children. 

And all the while, I lecture.

Brynlee and her daddy playing 3-2-1 blast-off on the tramp.

I recently read on the internet that in any given year I have a 1 in 10,000 chance of being injured by a toilet.  A toilet?!  And since I believe everything the internet says I’ve taken that statistic as fact and tried to be more caution when near the porcelain throne.  You should too.

The statistic sparked my interest and I let the internet teach me more:

·         Odds of injury while mowing the lawn: 1 in 3,623

·         Odds of being struck by lightning: 1 in 576,000

·         Odds of dying from falling out of bed or a chair: 1 in 423,548

·         Odds of dying if your pajamas or nightgown catch on fire: 1 in 30,589,556

·         Odds of dying from choking on food: 1 in 370,035

Odds are that my children probably aren’t going to die from hitting their head on our {15 foot!} ceiling when dad throws them in the air or suffer extreme pain when thrown from a high flying park swing that’s gone off track.  In fact, they probably have a better chance of choking on something I serve them for dinner than dying from a horrible laundry basket accident in which dad was recklessly driving.

So, I’ve concluded that I’ll let dad be dad.  And do dad things - even when dad things aren’t mom approved.

And while he’s busy being dad, I’ll be mom.  I’ll lecture him on getting the kids “all hyped up at bedtime” and roll my eyes when he happily serves them an ice-cream cone 10 MINUTES BEFORE DINNER! And I’ll let out an audible gasp when I think his newest stunt is pushing circus danger.  I’ll tell him not to be so rough, and to quit teasing the kids, and that the ‘rocket ship’ is to never, ever, ever be done again.  Well, except for one more time . . . but wait until I get my camera.  Because lecturing dads and taking pictures – it’s just what mom’s do. 

And saying a little prayer when dad’s around never hurt either.

A still image taken from the video titled Spence and Jace doing the 'rocket ship'

Oh My Quotable Friday: Life's good

Bryn and Jace asked to soak their feet in the kitchen sink yesterday while I was cleaning the kitchen.  I agreed but only if they promised “feet -- ONLY FEET!’”

They promised.

No more than ten seconds later I had two naked babes bathing in my kitchen sink.

Kids are so weird.  And unsanitary.

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Jace called me ‘Kim’ all morning.  Kim, can I have a yogurt?  Kim, hold me.  Sissy, where’s Kim?  He’s got such a fun little personality.  He called me Kim a few days ago and we all laughed so now it has become his go to joke.

Well that and “gummy bears”.  Strange, right?

I’ll ask him a question.  Any question really.  Say like “Hey Jace. Where are your shoes?”  His response, “Gummy bears.”  Or “Jace, do you need to go potty?”  Again, “gummy bears.”   And then he and Brynlee laugh until their eyes water.  Because if it’s funny the first time, it’s sure to be funny the seven THOUSANDTH time.

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We packed a lunch in hopes of picnicking at the park today, but it was so dang cold.  So instead we parked in front of the park, folded down the seats, laid out our picnic blanket and lunched – picnic style - in the back of the band.  White trash?  Absolutely.  But the kids thought it was as cool as Disneyland and I wasn’t about to tell them otherwise. 

Photo Album: My Little Preschool Graduate

Brynlee graduated from preschool.  With high honors. . . err. . .um. . . with a construction paper cap complete with a gold tassel taped to the side. 

Same thing. 

It was a big day and she was so proud to be an official pre-school graduate.  Grandma, Grandpa, Katie and Jake came to cheer for the star of the day.  We toasted to her preschool success with a new Webkinz and some Chinese Food.  And Kate & Jake brought a balloon, a Pez Dispenser and a flower so you know . . . best day ever.

Brynlee and her best preschool friend, Tyson, and Miss Lori. 
We were so lucky to have Miss Lori as Bryn's preschool teacher.  She was excellent!!  We loved her.