this september, t.l.c.

Jace got accepted to a speech intervention preschool.

Can we talk about that for a little bit?

Being a parent is hard. Sometimes, as a mother, I struggle with two varying perceptions.

Perception One: They need me, I give them comfort, why would I ever want to make them do something that feels uncomfortable and out of character for them, they’re sad or overwhelmed, they’re going to be traumatized, I will just race to their rescue – knocking down anybody in my way – and then I can scoop them up, take them home and hold them forever in my arms.

Perception Two: Oh my goodness look at how they’ve grown, this opportunity has been so good for them, look at what they have learned about themselves, I am so glad I allowed them to break that eggshell themselves - even though it was hard - to stretch and learn and grow into something that wouldn’t have been possible if I had been there holding their hand (holding them back).

My kids are pretty shy. I think I’ve mentioned that a time or two on this blog. And sometimes watching my kids in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations is terribly painful for me as their {fairly outgoing} mother. I feel growing pains just as they do. And, honestly, growing pains hurt.

The decision to have Jace attend the speech intervention preschool was one that was tinted with emotion as I teetered back and forth between perception one and perception two.

On the one hand: He was already attending a fabulous preschool, one that he loved, and we didn’t want to take him out of preschool with Miss Lori.

But on the other hand: We were aware that his speech had room for improvement and that he would probably benefit from a little intervention.

But then, on the one hand: This school was a public preschool. Did we want a public preschool?

But the other hand: His birthday in September 10^th, he’s five. Really, he’s almost old enough to attend Kindergarten. He’s probably ready for something more.

And so we (mainly I) debated. It’s only 2 ½ hours twice a week, yeah but, the school is across town which makes for a fairly long commute. But he will be a pro by the time that he gets to attend kindergarten, yeah but, I want to keep him home with me as long as I can, always and forever. But maybe I should just send him to both Miss Lori’s school and to this school, yeah but, that might be two overwhelming for him: two set of rules, two set of friends, two different teachers. Plus, the speech intervention school his housed in the same building with other preschools and treatments. Many of those children come from varying levels of home situations, financial background and many suffer from different mental and physical ailments. Yeah but, think how much Jace will learn as he grows to accept and love those children. Perception one, perception two. Perception one, perception two.

Ultimately Spence and I decided that this was an “opportunity” for Jace and who were we to deny him opportunity. So he attends preschool with Miss Lori four hours a week and preschool at the T.L.C. five hours a week.

And can I just say we made the right decision. All my worry about being overwhelmed, tired, not wanting to go, etc. were for not. He loves his T.L.C. school. They have recess. And snack time. Two things that he doesn’t get to do at Lori’s preschool. He gets to ride the bus, with the absolute best bus driver, Joe. He’s met new friends, and made fun crafts, and has done all the fun things that preschool offers. Plus, he has become good friends with the “cute little girl” that rides his bus. She suffers from some form of dwarfism and Jace thinks she is just the sweetest little thing he’s ever met.

He gets to meet with a speech therapist about 15 minutes once a week. So really, not a lot. Does it help? I am not sure, I guess we will see has time moves forward. And having already attended a year of preschool with Miss Lori most the things that he is learning at the T.L.C. is review for him, but that’s okay. He loves it. And I am so glad that I was brave enough to go with Perception #2 and didn’t void Jace of this learning and social opportunity.