Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Well, would you look at me all posting stuff and stuff.

Hi.

I woke up this morning and decided that I was going to post some stuff on this blog. Mainly because it's been short on the updates lately.

Word.

But first. But first, I have some very exciting news!

And by news I mean a harrowing tale of woe and misery.

And by exciting I mean painful. Very, very painful.

I will start at the beginning …because it’s a very good place to start. April 2013. Spence bought me new laundry baskets for my birthday. Because laundry is my love language. Not really. But I am a lover of practical gifts. So it was a celebrated birthday gift.

On the first laundry experience with said new laundry baskets we endured a minor setback. The little handle covers thingamajiggers fell off. Boom. Just like that. Plastic little handle covers thingamajiggers flying everywhere. There were no other injuries. Other than it caused me to make some exaggerated scene - ranting and raving about how craps not made like it used to be. Seriously.

But I decided to be the bigger person in the situation and ignore the baskets imperfections. Until recently, when I made a brilliant decision to restore the broken basket to new. Enter super glue.

In the name of fixing the laundry basket situation I dumped a big ol’glop of super glue all over the handle of the basket.

And then Marlee – in the name of being a total and complete hoodlum – climbed up on top of the kitchen counter and started removing plastic cards and receipts and gas station fountain drink punch cards and all other manner of purse contents and throwing them in the air like confetti. In my efforts to rescue my personal belongings and wrestle the toddler off of the counter top I managed to knock the laundry basket onto the floor.

No biggie. I picked up the basket and continued my gluing attempts. Standing very still (and firmly, might I add) as I offered complete concentration on not gluing my fingers to the big ol’glop of super glue on the basket. I glued and applied pressure, and glued and reapplied pressure. And then glued some more. All the while standing very still as I focused on my bonding efforts. I managed to only remove the fingerprint of one finger in the process. Win.

And then I was done. And the proper thing to do when you are done with something is to walk away from the situation. Which is what I did.

And…OH. MY. HECK!

You guys.

Apparently in the part of the story where Marlee and I knocked the basket (with the big ol’glop of super glue) onto the floor, a portion of the glop fell to the floor. And then I – as I stood very still and firmly – rested my barefoot in that glop of super glue.

Do you see where this is going?

I MANAGED TO SUPER GLUE MY FOOT TO THE FLOOR.

No kidding.

Do you want to know what is really, really painful?

Answer: Super glue on your skin.

Want to know what is worse than that?

Answer: When the super glue is removed and takes a portion of your skin as a souvenir.

Want to know what’s worse than that?

SUPER GLUING YOUR RIGHT FOOT TO A WOOD FLOOR!

Don’t do it. It sucks.

Yesterday I did laundry again. And guess what … the super glued little handle covers thingamajiggers fell off my laundry basket. 

Foot super gluing experience all for not.

Today I’ll be employing a half used roll of duct tape, because super glue is dead to me!

***

Oh, and also.

There is a snake in my flower bed! That gives me peace and comfort.


4 comments:

Megan Bailey said...

Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh! Even though this isn't nearly as painful, at least your washing machine didn't decide to stop working and the machine people can't seem to fix it for the last 2 months. I'm running out of clean clothes!!!

Jami said...

HAHa!! Maybe you should apply a little super glue to your bricks on your flower bed, and catch that snakey!!

Jessica said...

ouch!

Jaelynn said...

That stinks! Though I have to admit, as I was reading this I kept saying to myself, "Please don't say that Marlee glued herself... Please don't say that Marlee glued herself!" So I was slightly relieved that it was your foot and not Marlee's, though it truly is a bummer that it happened at all!

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