Awesome.



I can't believe I just posted that picture.  Awesome.

I got pulled over by a cop last week.  Speeding in a school zone.  In my defense it was barely a school zone.  Not school zone, sign, school zone, cop, lights, pulled over, ticket.  BAM!  $150.00 kind of ticket.  $151.50 to be precise.  Awesome.

<sidenote> Someday I’m going to write a blog post on my opinion of cocky cops.  Mr. School Zone Cop will be used as Exhibit A.  Arrogant Punk.  <end sidenote>

I got pulled over on my way to my dentist appointment.  A cavity, gah!  My dentist had a heck of a time numbing the proper spot in my mouth.  Four attempts – 7 to 9 shots of Novocain later {I truthfully lost count} – they filled the cavity.  Over the weekend I finally got feeling back in my left ear.  Awesome.

And then this morning I checked our bank account online.  Checking account – zero balance.  Overdraft account – maxed out.  Every.single.penny – gone.  Spent by somebody other than us.  Apparently somebody borrowed Spencer’s debit card number and bought a good portion of the Apple Online Store.  So not even kidding right now you guys.  We’ve financed some thief’s shopping spree.  Awesome.

All the purchases were made Friday evening and Monday is a holiday which means nothing can be done until Tuesday.  Awesome.

And even then it takes 10-15 business days for everything to be reviewed which means 10-15 business days where we have zero access to our money – if the bank decides to return our money.  Awesome.

Friday was pay day.  So our pay check had just barely been credited to our bank accounts.  I mentioned the jerk spent ALL our money in our main checking account, right.  Like our whole entire paycheck + the balance that was already in our account + our overdraft account.  Awesome.

Including the $151.50 I need to pay my lame ticket.  Awesome.

I think I’m going to spend tomorrow at my dentist’s office and this time I’m opting for four times the regular amount of laughing gas.  And then I’m going to pay him with Spencer’s defunct debit card.  It’s going to be AWESOME!

Let the party begin.

Spencer successfully completed his first semester toward his master’s degree.  He is now 1/10^th of the way to a Masters in Electrical Engineering {heaven help me us, it's going to be a long road}.  As a way of toasting to his success he is taking the better part of next week off work.  We will be spending the time doing a few odd and end home projects, starting the decorating of my lil’ superhero’s room, embellishing Uncle Marky’s grave with flowers, and watching Scrubs until way past bedtime.  We will also be riding snow sleds down our newly carpeted stairs, having pillow fights and jumping off of anything and everything – because that is what we do when daddy’s home.

There is nothing I like better than hanging out the four of us – together.  It makes me smile.

Anyways. . . we are off for a picnic and some frozen yogurt.  It’s going to be a great week.

Brynlee riding the snow sled down the stairs. 
After dad made the suggestion.

If there ever were a blog that had a ri-dic-ulous amount of photos of people jumping off of things. . .
this blog would be that blog!

Written to Abby

Dear Abby,

I believe I’ve given birth to a superhero.  Any advice would be appreciated.

~the superheors adoring mother

*****

Last summer my sister-in-law mentioned that if she were a superhero her super power would be picking out perfect watermelons.  Touché, she really has a knack for bringing home the juciest cream of the crop watermelon. 

I’m not near as talented.  My superhero power would probably be talking really loud at inappropriate time or being able to consume an entire pan of brownies with chocolate frosting all by myself.  Which sadly, would get a superhero absolutely nowhere.  I despair. 

I’m curious - if you were a superhero what would your super power be? 

Never miss a chance to dance.

Brynlee had her first little dance recital over the weekend. 

I cried.

Because I’m a sap.

And also because, as it turns out, adorable little five-year-olds dancing, smiling and shaking their groove thing {in a totally appropriate five-year-old way} pulls at my heart strings - especially when one of those dancing chickadees is my little five year old.  Oh. My. Heck.  So cute.

Well that and the sweet little 4^th grader who didn’t allow her down syndrome to get in the way of a perfect dance performance.  I don’t think she did a single move on beat, but it didn’t bother her or the audience.  She really was the star of the show.  It was the perfect reminder to dance like nobody is watching.  Or better yet, to dance like you are the prima ballerina and the entire world showed up to watch your sell-out performance.  I wish y'all could have seen it.  It was just the sweetest thing.   I’m willing to bet you would have cried too.  

Anyway, a little video tribute to Brynlee’s first ever dance recital.

Oh My Quotable Friday: Celebration

The carpets done!! 

The paint cans put away!!

The furniture has been returned to its appropriate rooms!! 

And Spence and I went to bed at 10:30 last night!!

!!!!!!!

Now that’s reason for a celebration. 

{feel free to applaud now, thank you}

Our house reeks of new carpet and sleep deprivation

Remember how I told you we were getting new carpet?  Well, it’s happening.

And my OCD couldn’t be more excited. 

As we’ve emptied rooms of their belongings I’ve cleaned out every closet, drawer, nook & cranny.  And while Spencer has been ripping out old carpet, pulling staples out of the floor boards and using no less than 8 bajillion screws to quiet the floor squeakies I’ve been painting ceilings and closets and trim and doors and walls and really anything else I can get my paint stained hands on.  Including our bedspread . . . whoops. 

This morning Spence and I moaned and groaned and pulled ourselves out of bed like a 90 year old couple that decided it a good idea to attempt break dancing AND go bowling on the same evening.  I have a handful of paint roller blisters on my right hand and my neck is permanently stuck in ceiling viewing position.  I feel like a million bucks.  Only not.

P.S.  While I type Brynlee is decorating the dining room for something I believe she’s titled “a party for the carpet.”  She’s adorned with Crayola artwork and has informed me that after the carpet is completely done we will celebrate with a feast.  She’s set out ramekins of Pirates Booty, filled cups with ice water and has a piece of gum to be split between the four of us for dessert.  So you know, quite ‘the feast’.  So sometime Friday afternoon when the carpet installation is complete we will dine on stale Pirates Booty and two day old water.  If you’re not busy you should join us.

The kids preparing for a sleepover in our bedroom while their rooms are sans carpet.

12 on the 12th [The May Chapter]

01.  Homework.  After an all-nighter Spence finally got the lights on his circuit board to blink like they were supposed to.  He tried to explain it to me but I got confused at “okay, so look at this code”.  Apparently a screen of completely random numbers and foreign symbols make the lights blink.  Who knew?

02.  Breakfast.  Toast, strawberries and a glass of milk.

03.  Tulips.  I was pleasantly surprised by the number of tulips that bloomed in my flower beds this spring.  I was certain that the deer had eaten them all back in the fall.  Turns out they left some for me.  Such kind houseguests.

04.  Cheesehead.  Jumping on the trampoline in our pajamas before getting ready for the day.

05.  Bike Trailer.  Gearing up for a bike ride to preschool.  The kids got me an odometer for Mother’s Day.  I’ve biked 13.4 miles since Sunday.

06.  Flower Pot.  My bedazzled Mother’s Day flower pot made by Brynlee.

07.  Lemonade.  Lunch on the deck with raspberry lemonade.

08.  Toys.  The kiddos entertainment while Miranda and I got our hair done.  They were hair salon champs.           

09.  Me.  Sportin' a freshly colored hairdo.

10.  Swing.  Stopped by the park to reward superb hair salon behavior and because it was b-e-a-utiful outside.

11.  Dinner.  Chips and salsa and a fajita burrito.  I was cautious to go easy on the salsa consumption this time.

12.  Trio.  Spent the last of the gorgeous day’s sunlight wrapped in a blanket on the porch swing.

12 on the 12th inspired by her.

A note for Buddy

To Jace: 

There are certain things I don’t get about you.  Like why you insisted on wearing two pair of underwear today.  Or why, “Mama, you hold me” really means “I need to go potty.”  Or why you think it’s funny to lick people.  Or why you cried this afternoon when Brynlee begged you to go inside reading hour with her instead of waiting outside the door with me like you usually do.  “Me too tiny” you informed her between sniffles, obviously overwhelmed by the idea of stepping into the unfamiliar. 

And there are certain things about you that just make me laugh.  Like how you ran downstairs tonight ten minutes after we put you in bed, “me already waked up, guys, me already waked up.”  Or how you laugh until you cry when we play ‘the mean doggy game’.  Or how when you and Brynlee play house she’s the baby and you’re the mommy. 

And there are other things about you that just make me smile.  Like when you say your prayers.  Or when you give me kisses. Or when you play superheroes.  Or how excited you are when daddy gets home from work.  Or how giving five is always followed by giving knuckles which is always followed by giving noggin.  Or how you request to sing Twinkle, Twinkle every single Family Home Evening.  Or how you say “me happy mommy, are you happy” at random times throughout the day.

And there are still other things about you that make me proud.  Like how quickly you are to apologize and give loves after you have done something wrong.  Or how well behaved you are while we wait for Brynlee at dance class.  Or how you try really hard to make Brynlee happy when she’s sad.

And there are things about you that I love.  Like your smile.  And your eyes.  And your nose.  And your toes.  And everything in between.  Like, YOU.  All of you.  Every single bit of you.  Even the parts of you that I don’t really get.  And even the parts of you that sometimes throw fits.  And the parts of you that make me laugh.  And the parts of you that make me proud.  And the parts of you that test my patience.  And the parts of you that are growing up so fast.  Every single bit of you - I love. 

Just thought you would like to know.

Love ya buddy,

Mommy

Proud Mother of the World’s Best Kids

me and my kids on a Mother's Day walk in the rain

What is it about motherhood that brings out the cattiness in women?  That need to compare, to one up, to trump in a imaginary contest of ‘Mom Eat Mom’.  What is it that makes us brag like the world has never seen children like our children. 

Motherhood seems to revert grown women to high school Mean Girls {accompanied by boobs with a little more sag and badonkadonks with a little less wag}. 

My little sister walked at eight months old.  Little, tiny walking thing.  Ask me how many times I’ve heard that story. 

And I have a good friend that potty trained her firstborn at an earlier age.  Although I’m not entirely certain how early since every time the tale’s retold the age seems to ironically decrease.  The kid was apparently sportin’ dry underwear before my kids were able to digest solid foods. 

It’s not just about our children’s successes either, but the method we used to get them here.  Ten points for a natural, epidural free, without induction delivery.  Seven points if you were weak and requested an anesthesiologist.  Two points if you were one of the unlucky ones that had to experience a c-section.  Sorry.  But it’s the name of the game.  Mom Eat Mom, remember. 

And in true competitive form we belittle other mothers like it boosts our own personal motherhood resume.  Did you hear that mother A sends her toddler to bed with juice? IN A BOTTLE!  And I can’t believe mother B lets her kids eat ice-cream before dinner. . . worst.mom.ever!  And, holy crap, do you know how much TV mother C lets her kids watch?  And what about the mom who opts for disposal diapers over cloth.  Or formula over nursing.  Or having a career over staying at home. 

“My kids four and she already reads” I overheard a mother proudly bragging at the library the other day.  I’ve heard the same conversation a million billion times before.  My kid only requests fruits and veggies for snacks.  My kid could say his ABCs at 12 months.  My kid can build a lego masterpiece with his eyes closed.  My kids don’t whine.  My kid. . .

I’m guilty.  I mean, welcome to my blog: a place where I shamelessly brag about my offspring and their uncanny ability to rock this universe.  Both my kids were potty trained at two, they don’t watch much TV and they amaze me with their remarkable drama talent when they act like dogs in the grocery store.  Three points for me.  Why yes, the points have true value and you better believe I’m keeping track.  Because I’m a mom, and that’s what mom’s do.

A Message to Mom

Dear Mom,

A Mother’s Day love note to you, from yours.  Thanks for being our mother. 

XOXO,

Your Gang

Oh My Quotable Friday: Mother

My beautiful mother during her collage years.  Wasn't she pretty?  I love you mom.  Thanks for loving me.

*more about oh my quotable friday here

News From the Dental Front.

So, Brynlee and I did a celebratory dance at the dentist office today.  No cavities!!  We jumped up and down, spun in circles and high fived all the dental staff.  It was a big day for everyone involved.  And we celebrated with a trip to the park without time limits, a prize from the toy department and dinner served on the ‘You Are Special’ plate.  She is now officially a member of Dr. Mike’s No Cavity Club and her cute little picture proudly hangs on his dental office wall to prove it.

If I were to write a top ten list titled The Most Painful Experiences as Brynlee’s Mother labor and delivery would come in second and dental visits would top the list.  And rightfully so, she’s not what I would label a superstar dental patient.  But in all fairness she had an awful initiation into the dental world. 

Long story, short:  we picked a nasty pediatric dentist; we’ll call him Dr. Horrible.  {If you live in my town and want to know where NOT TO SEND your children for their dental needs, let me know.  I’d love to share.}  Dr. Horrible was, well . . . horrible.  He wasn’t good with children.  He was threatening and had no patience.  Plus, parents weren’t allowed to go back with their kids and he restrained Brynlee without getting my permission.  Add that to the fact that Brynlee was not a superstar dental patient and a dental nightmare was born.   

Luckily we found Dr. Mike, an angel of a dentist {who also has the patience of a saint and a killer sense of humor} to replace Dr. Horrible.  And the last six month he has worked on regaining Brynlee’s dental trust while REDOING the work that Dr. Horrible had done.  {Which makes my blood boil.  Do you want to know what sucks for a girl who has a fear of dentists?  Getting three cavities filled.  Wanna know what’s even worse?  Having to get them done twice because the dang dentist did a horrible job!} 

Anyway, today she had no cavities and it feels so good. 

And also, Jace had his first dentist visit.  He rocked!  Well, if you consider riding in the dental chair, spraying your mom with water and picking a prize and a new toothbrush rocking, then he rocked.

It’s so bad my eyes are watery.

I woke up at 5:00 this morning, which is so not typical of me.  I had a bad dream and I couldn’t go back to sleep. 

Well?  That’s only a half truth. 

We celebrated Cinco de Mayo early by dining at a favorite Mexican Restaurant last night.  I mainly ate chips and salsa.  Like drank salsa, obviously.  It’s true that I was woken by a bad dream, but it also had something to do with the overbearing aroma of my day after salsa morning breath.  It’s like death by halitosis.  Only worse.  I brushed before I went to bed.  Then again at 3:00 am when I was jarred awake by the stench of my own breath.  Then I brushed one more time at 5:00 am.  Still no real sign of improvement.  It smells like I just indulged in an onion - apple style.  Honestly, if I were a cartoon character I would have a green cloud escaping my mouth.

At this rate me and my breath will still be celebrating Cinco de Mayo on cinco de mayo.  Lovely. 

And also for your Wednesday, the kids and I frozen in time.  A photo Spencer has titled Inception.

I So Enjoy The Easy Listing Format

·    I got a new bike for my birthday.  During Spence’s shift for Sunday nap the kids asked me to take them to the park.  Thinking it a good reason to unearth my rusted biking skillz I loaded them in the bike trailer and peddled to the nearest park.  And then I died.

·    Note to self: Please try to get into shape.  Like, soon!

·    A little boy was teasing Bryn at school.  “Brynlee likes to fart, Brynlee likes to fart.”  {Preschool boys are obviously no more or less mature than any other age group of boys.}  Brynlee’s response?  “No! I don’t!!  But my dad does.”  *ba-dum-bum* 

·     My friend Miranda made me a carrot cake for my birthday.  My mom named it ’The Best Carrot Cake She’s Ever Eaten’.  Seriously, the cake was delish.  But the frosting.  Oh. My. Heck.  The frosting.  ‘Best Frosting I’ve Ever Eaten’. 

·    Someday I’m going to learn to bake like Miranda.  Scratch that.  Me learning to bake like Miranda is just about as likely as me being the next president.  Instead, I’m going to do my best to stay friends with her so I can indulge in delicious baked goodness without having to actually do the baking.  Or wash the dishes afterwards.

·    Jace got a haircut today.  No Tears!  Jace went to nursery today.  No Tears.  Miracles do exist after all.  Halleluiah.  I sure love that kid.

·    On April 26^th it looked like this:

On April 27^th it looked like this:

Just thought you would like to know.
 

·    We spent the weekend at. . .

·    Hold up!  I have to tell you something first.  Remember how last summer Jami & Zeb moved to that town in the middle of nowhere where my parents live?  Well now my little brother and his wife are moving to that same town.  It makes visiting family convenient.  Three birds, one stone kind of thing.

·    Anyway, we spent the weekend at that-town-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-where-half-my-family-resides.  They were having a little carnival and we invited ourselves, because that’s how we do playdates in my family.  If there is one thing you should know about that-town-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-where-half-my-family-resides it’s that they know how to throw a party.  Nothing beats a small town carnival.  Well except a small town 4^th of July celebration.

What we do for entertainment in that town-in-the-middle-of-nowhere

·    May is national bike to work month.  And since taking the kids to the park is part of my job I’m so going to bike to the park again.  Just as soon as my legs no longer feel like jell-o OR until the park moves closer to my house – whichever happens first.

Happy May you guys.

Family photo on a stock pan lid.