Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Proud Mother of the World’s Best Kids

me and my kids on a Mother's Day walk in the rain
What is it about motherhood that brings out the cattiness in women?  That need to compare, to one up, to trump in a imaginary contest of ‘Mom Eat Mom’.  What is it that makes us brag like the world has never seen children like our children. 

Motherhood seems to revert grown women to high school Mean Girls {accompanied by boobs with a little more sag and badonkadonks with a little less wag}. 

My little sister walked at eight months old.  Little, tiny walking thing.  Ask me how many times I’ve heard that story. 

And I have a good friend that potty trained her firstborn at an earlier age.  Although I’m not entirely certain how early since every time the tale’s retold the age seems to ironically decrease.  The kid was apparently sportin’ dry underwear before my kids were able to digest solid foods. 

It’s not just about our children’s successes either, but the method we used to get them here.  Ten points for a natural, epidural free, without induction delivery.  Seven points if you were weak and requested an anesthesiologist.  Two points if you were one of the unlucky ones that had to experience a c-section.  Sorry.  But it’s the name of the game.  Mom Eat Mom, remember. 

And in true competitive form we belittle other mothers like it boosts our own personal motherhood resume.  Did you hear that mother A sends her toddler to bed with juice? IN A BOTTLE!  And I can’t believe mother B lets her kids eat ice-cream before dinner. . . worst.mom.ever!  And, holy crap, do you know how much TV mother C lets her kids watch?  And what about the mom who opts for disposal diapers over cloth.  Or formula over nursing.  Or having a career over staying at home. 

“My kids four and she already reads” I overheard a mother proudly bragging at the library the other day.  I’ve heard the same conversation a million billion times before.  My kid only requests fruits and veggies for snacks.  My kid could say his ABCs at 12 months.  My kid can build a lego masterpiece with his eyes closed.  My kids don’t whine.  My kid. . .

I’m guilty.  I mean, welcome to my blog: a place where I shamelessly brag about my offspring and their uncanny ability to rock this universe.  Both my kids were potty trained at two, they don’t watch much TV and they amaze me with their remarkable drama talent when they act like dogs in the grocery store.  Three points for me.  Why yes, the points have true value and you better believe I’m keeping track.  Because I’m a mom, and that’s what mom’s do.

16 comments:

Natalie said...

Ha ha isn't that the truth? I didn't realize there was such a scorecard until I had a baby! :)

Lacy@uphillandsmiling said...

everything you said is so true... and I have to say that I try to stay AWAY from Moms like that. Bleh! It's really hard when some of those Moms are related to you! :(

But I truly believe there are Moms out there who aren't quite that bad (at least they don't say it, but I'm sure they're thinking it!!) :)

Jessica said...

Well said! Hey since my kids still can't sleep through the night is my score like minus 200!

Megan said...

I love the second picture! What a great mother daughter photo!

Jami said...

HAHA!
Well, Did you know that my kids were both interviewed for the Guiness Book of World Records????? I really should be on Oprah for the BEST MOM of the year....

Katie said...

Great post & so true! The beauty of getting to parent your own way can quickly be lost when mons try to keep score.

sarah louise said...

afdaf

sarah louise said...

Sorry I wrote a huge reply twice and it wouldn't let me leave the comment and I lost it both times. I guess that is the universes way of saying my comment sucked and I should just give up. (The comment before this one was just a test. Apparently I can comment with gibberish).

Jessica said...

I liked the Mean Girls with boobs line. Great analogy. Things do get a little competitive with moms.

Honestly, I would deduct points for a natural birth with no pain meds. That's just crazy talk to me. ;)

Rachel said...

This is so great, and so true. I try not to be this way, but sometimes I just cant help it....My baby walked at 8 months old too! Ha :) Being a mom rocks, but seriously, sometimes it is just ridiculous and we all just need to take a chill pill!

Alexis Kaye said...

HAHA this is so true and so funny! We do it in all aspects of life! Sometimes adults are the worst kids. :) I wrote about motherhood today :)

tharker said...

So true. I think we all do it. Some more than others, but yes, we all do it ;)

Loved the Mean Girls reference!

Cambria said...

LOVE this post! So true! I was actually thinking some of these things the other day. Especially loved the mean girl's line! LOL :) Thanks for the laugh tonight!

Diana Smith said...

amen sister!! Its so true, we do like to compare ourselves and our kids to everyone elses! I don't know why because its not healthy and everyone is different. I am so guilty of this. I was comparing my 6 month old to a newborn baby! Um helllo?? why would I do that haha I am crazy!

Claire said...

oh man, it's so crazy how moms brag about their kids. i try so hard not to compare my kids to other people's kids (at least out loud) but it's hard. and honestly, i always think, they're all going to walk someday, all going to talk someday, so whether they do it today or in two months, does it really matter? haha, maybe to us it does.

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Nick and Karalynn said...

Wait, I only get 2 points for a c-section? I demand a recount!

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