Friday, August 14, 2009

Almost breaking news:


I don't Facebook. I don't know why. I just don't.  I have nothing against Facebook.  (In fact, I'm a Closet Facebooker. I'm one of the bigwigs of the underground Facebook society. We hold classified conventions. Late at night. On my Family Room couch. We have NO regularly scheduled meetings. But meet ONLY when my little sister's in town. And it's under her pseudonym that I secretly lurk at your Facebook profile.  Well, only if you're my little sisters Facebook Friend. That's one of the problems with being a closet Facebooker; you don't get to choose your own friends.)

I know there's a Facebook frenzy.  I know it's a great way to keep in touch.  But, for some odd reason, I just don't Facebook.

******

I ran into an old college acquaintance at the grocery store earlier today. We caught up amid shelves of wonder bread and ketchup. She has two little girls who, from the cell phone picture, look absolutely precious. We laughed about college memories, remembered old classmates and mentioned the fact that both of our 10 year class reunions would be held next year.

Then we had this conversation:

Old college acquaintance, now devout Facebooker {OCA,NDF}: Hey, I've looked for you on Facebook. I can never find you.
Lame old me {LOM}: Yeah, I don't Facebook.
OCA,NDF (looking at me like I have some highly contagious diseases): WHAT! Why don't you Facebook? EVE-RY-BODY! FACEBOOKS!
LOM (laughing at her stunned response): So I hear. It's just…
OCA,NDF (disgusted): LAME! Lame, lame, lame! How do you keep in touch with old friends?
LOM: Well, I…
OCA,NDF (still disgusted): You REALLY don't Facebook? Seriously? Do you expect to get invited to your class reunion? You're NOT going to get invited? Do you realize that?
LOM (confused): Why's that?
OCA,NDF (matter-of-factly): How's anyone EVER going to find you if you're not on Facebook? Kim, that's lame. Get on Facebook.

(In which Lame Old Me quickly changed to a non-Facebook subject out of fear that other grocery shoppers would hear that they had a non-Facebooker amongst them and would immediately start throwing tomatoes and chanting lame, lame, lame over the PA system)

******

She obviously didn't take into account that I'm a Closet Facebooker.  I wonder if Closet Facebookers get invited to class reunions.  If they do, do they have to go as their pseudonym?  Are they still considered LAME?

******

In case you're wondering. I still don't Facebook! I know . . . lame!

11 comments:

Woolf Family said...

I was really hoping that you finally gave in and started a face book account I'm so disappointed :(

Rachel said...

I like blogs better, especially yours.

sarah louise said...

I say stand your ground. Don't give in. Everybody is moving from blogs to facebook and I don't like it. Be tough! (though I love facebook and do think you are a little crazy).

Lacy said...

That's funny that she just couldn't grasp it. I too have often wondered why you didn't facebook. I could give you my log in and password and you could pretend to be me! hahaha People wouldn't talk to you nearly as much as they would if they really knew it was you, but you would have a whole new croud of people to secretly view :)

tracifree said...

In my opinion, it's all about being found. If you don't want to be found, don't facebook. However, I have re-connected with some amazing people in my life who I thought were gone forever. Facebook is one big life reunion.

The Jones Family said...

For the record i don't techniqally facebook. Jsaon has an account and i did ask Jared Neff to be a friend via jason with the comment p.s. "this is ains". Also, i just came back from our 10 yrs reuion in which i WAS invited. We actually have a blog page. Although some did make the comment "you don't face book?" To be honest when i was look at jason's i got a little lost. too much mambo jumbo on pages. although the girl suggested "that your husband gets you started" after soome of the comments i made about facebook. YOu would have thought i was talking in alien form. ok i was because facebook is foreign to me. closet facebooker...hummm i would have to AGREE!

Lib said...

I'm completely foreign to facebook...not even quite sure what it's all about... (note, my status may not count in your tally given that I'm quite antisocial and somewhat socially challenged in general, and I only recently learned who Kelly Clarkson (among many other stars) was at the chin drop of my husband) are you now as stunned as your now devout facebooker was to you? Maybe we'll have to have our own 10 year reunion, no invite for me eihter. :)

Kimberlee said...

Lib-
Okay, not facebooking? Totally understandable. Not watching American Idol? UNACCEPTABLE! :)

Kimberlee said...

Traci- That's the part of Facebook that I know I would love; reconnecting with old friends.

sarah louise said...

Kim that is the only reason I am on facebook to re-connect with people. It is so fun to see old friends and what they are up to. You know you could try it and then always back out!

Kali Jo said...

i got on facebook. made a profile. checked it... twice. 6 months went by.... checked again. interesting and kinda fun but i like blogs better too. (i guess i'd better update mine huh) anyway. just checked face book again and tooma dumbe quiz but got a suprisingly accurate answer. so to you miss closet facebooker. check me out! i'm sure your sis wouldn't mind if you added me you could always tak eme off later!!!

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