Friday, February 14, 2014

on love


Reason number eleventy million that I love Spencer: sometimes he hides love notes in his computer code.

*****

On July 12, 2003 - the day that Spence and I were married - every guest at our wedding luncheon took a turn sharing their marriage advice with us, the newest couple to have joined the ranks of marriage.

My sister-in-law Gretta, fully aware of Spencer’s love of the color black and an interior designer by trade, advised us to decorate our home with more than just that one color. 

Another guest advised us to thank each other for doing those routine, mundane tasks that go into being a family.

And among other things we were advised to never go to bed angry, to always find time to laugh, and to set aside time for just each other, even when the time came that we were responsible for a house full of kids. Spencer was told to treat me like a Queen {grade A advice, if you ask me}, and I was advised, by his little brother Aaron – who was about eight at the time - to make Spence really good food everyday.

But my favorite, and most memorable advice, came from my Aunt Jillene. And although I've always meant to thank her for her advice, I never have. This is my thank you.

Looking back now I realize that attending my wedding on July 12, 2003 was probably a very hard thing for Aunt Jillene to do. And realizing that in spite of her heartache she still attended my special day makes me cherish her advice even more.

About five months earlier, on February 10th, my Uncle Rob – Jillene’s sweetheart – passed away while fishing on Bear Lake. On my wedding day her heart was still very much broken and Uncle Rob’s body had still not been found.

On that hot day in July the advice wave made its way around the guest tables; one by one people that Spence and I love stood and offered us guidance. Some were funny, some serious, some a little embarrassing.  Then it was Aunt Jillene’s turn. She stood, and as fresh, hot tears rolled down her face, she advised Spencer and me to say that we loved each other. “Say it often, every day. Multiple times a day. Don’t let a day go by that you don’t tell each other that.” She paused. And then she continued with intent… “Every chance you get, say it; because you never know when that chance is going to be your last!”

I think of her advice often, but especially around our anniversary and in February, close to Valentine’s Day. It’s advice that I uphold and cherish.

In our house we say I love you often. Daily. Multiple times every single day, just as Jillene advised.

I hear people argue that saying I love you too often and too freely cheapens it and takes away its full meaning. I disagree entirely. I think “I Love You” builds upon itself. Every time it’s said it gains strength and serves as a needed reminder to those that it’s intended toward.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my friends. Today – and everyday – make sure you say I love you!

And Aunt Jillene: thank you. I Love You! :)

4 comments:

Jaelynn said...

Great advice indeed! I love this. And I love you guys! Happy V-day!

Jessica said...

Good advice!

Megan Bailey said...

This is the best advice! I always make sure I say it before going to bed each night. It is routine, but each word is meant with absolute meaning.

Stacey Crandall said...

Kim, It has been too long since I have read your blog. I love to read it. A new job has kept me so busy. I have been there for 20 months. Not so new anymore I guess, before this job I could check in at my old job. I love this post. I love that you remember it so well, I love that you shared it. Thank you!!! Great advice we should all take. I love you!!! And your whole family. I can't believe how big your baby is. Time flies!!!

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