The story of a heart-shaped potato chip

I cried today.

I'm sick. And tired. And my kids are sick. And grouchy and tired. And Spencer is sick. And dizzy and nauseous. And tired.
As they say…I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Uggh!

I don't cry very often. And I 'feel down' even less.
I really am an optimist.
I try to find beauty in everything.  I think there's always a silver lining.
My glass is half-full. My glasses, rose colored.  And they lived happily ever after. And all that optimistic blah, blah, blah.
I don't think being optimistic makes me better. I don't think it makes me worse. It just makes me…ME!
It might make me naive. It might make me sappy. It might make you gag.
But, that's me. It's who I am.
An optimist.

But today.
Today I'd had it. I was frustrated. And overwhelmed. And did I mention we're sick. AGAIN!
I tried to handle today with a smile. With dignity and grace. But I was fresh out of all those things.
My kids wouldn't stop C R Y I N G!
My head was spinning. I couldn't breathe out my nose.
And I wanted nothing more than to crawl up in my bed and pull the blankets over my head.
But, I couldn't. I can't. Because I'm a mom. And my kids, they were C R Y I N G, and lunch needed made and favorite toys found, and stories read, and noses wiped.
Plus, my sick husband was already upstairs on my side of the bed, with the blankets over his head.
So I endured. The best I could.

And then when I felt I just couldn't endure anymore.
…both the kids took a nap.
God is good.

The house was quiet. The fire a'blazin. I curled up on the end of the couch with a blanket. AND C R I E D! I felt sorry for myself. Which only caused more tears. More C R Y I N G.
And right when I was getting into a real good cry-fest, Brynlee woke up.
She called for me. Told me her "body hurt all over" and asked me to "snuggle her with both my arms".
And so I did. We curled up on the end of the couch together. Snuggling. And eating Ruffles cheddar and sour cream chips.
Because of all the congestion neither of us could taste a thing. But the greasy empty calories still tasted good.

Then Brynlee pulled a chip from the bag. Looked at it for a bit. Then handed it to me saying, "Look! A heart, mommy. You can have it."
I took the heart chip from her little hand, and while fighting back tears snuggled her tightly and said, "Thanks Brynlee. I love it. I love you! You're my favorite little girl."
And then as she kissed my cheek she replied, "And you're my favoritist mommy. I love you!"

And suddenly it was all worth it. Every.single.bit.of.it!
Which made me cry again. But this time very different tears.
Tears of joy. Of happiness. And love.
Tears of family. And togetherness. And motherhood.
Tears of joy and delight. Of optimism. And sappy-ness.
(I mean it was a potato chip for crying out loud)

I know I'm far from perfect. I know there are times I screw-up. I can be controlling. My house gets messy. Sometimes we spend the entire morning watching cartoons. And forget to brush our teeth.
But you want to know what. I'm happy. And loved.
And at the end of the day that's all that really matters.