The post that made me nervous!

I called my little sister this afternoon.

"Does my blog annoy you?" I asked before she even had a chance to say hello.
"What, NO!" she said followed by an uncomfortable giggle.
"No, seriously Jami. Be completely, 100% honest. Does it annoy you?"
{short pause}
"No, why? I mean…no it doesn't annoy me." She stated, slightly annoyed by all the questioning. "Your blog, it's so you. And you don't annoy me, so why would your blog annoy me?"
"Are you sure," I awkwardly questioned again.
"Yes I'm sure. Why are you asking me this…"

So I told her the story. The entire story.  And then we talked about blogging. Why we blog. What we get {and don't get} about blogging. Who we blog for. How it's dying, but how we still enjoy it. We talked about if we should quit blogging. If I should quit blogging. She reassured me that I shouldn't. "Why should you?" she said. "Plus", she continued, "you can't quit blogging". "Why," I asked. And she truthfully answered, "Because it makes dad happy!"

And she's right…I can't quit blogging. Not right now anyways. Because this is how I journal.  This is how I write down the little things that I want to remember. The funny things. The things that make me cry. The things that, someday, my kids will read and wonder how they survived. This is how I scrapbook. It's my way around cutting cute little flowers out of plaid scrapbook paper and embellishing them with pink brads and tiny eyelets. This is my life. Our life. Our perfectly, INPERFECT life. Unedited!

So I'll continue to blog, but not before I say a few things…

Um, for starters. I don't blog for real!  I don't pretend to blog for real! I'm not a blogger. I'm not good'nuff and I'm not scared to admit it. I don't know how to properly, use, a, comma. And sometimes I write there instead of their. However, their (sorry, I couldn't help myself) are lots of for real bloggers out there that write amazingly. They have great things to say and beautiful pictures to look at. They teach you how to cook good food and make adorable crafts. I'm only beginning to discover that there's blogs out there that I can't live without. If you're looking for a "real blogger" let me suggest my talented friend, Miranda. She's fantastic. And look how cute her shoes are. {Oh, and I stole the term of "real blogger" from her by the way.}

If I blogged for real, I would put more thought into my posts. I would read people's blogs that I didn't know. And comment on them. In hopes that they too would read my blog and leave me a comment. I would put my little bloggy out there in the big bad bloggy world. With a prayer that somebody, somewhere, might enjoy it.

If I blogged for real, I would make sure things were spelt right and grammatically correct before I pushed publish.

If I blogged for real, I wouldn't be offended if you thought my blog was annoying. Because chances would be fairly high that I didn't know you; in real life, per say. And therefore, that opinion of yours wouldn't REALLY matter.

But here's the thing: I DON'T BLOG FOR REAL.

I blog for me. For my kids. For my family. My dad. I blog for my sisters and sister-in-laws. For old friends that I haven't seen in awhile and new friends that are barely getting to know me. I blog for you. I blog to keep in touch. And to remember the good ole' days. I blog to give myself challenges. To take a picture a day or to laugh about something that would otherwise be frustrating. I blog to feel creative. I blog because I think its fun and because I'm addicted. I blog for adult conversation. I blog because I've NEVER consistently kept a journal. But, since February of 2008 I've managed to do just that. I blog because I have 5 siblings and 11 siblings-in-laws…that's a whole lot of people to keep in touch with. I blog because it's my escape from the dishes or an excuse for Spencer to put the kids in bed while I unwind in front of the computer. I blog because I love to read your blog. To get to know cousins that I never really knew before. To keep up on your life. To read about what events fill your days and how it compares to my days.

Maybe someday I'll blog for real. And maybe I won't. Who knows.

But right now I blog for me and for my family and friends.  And because of those reasons your opinion DOES matter to me. And because I know my readers and I love my readers I'm fairly sensitive to their opinion. And because I'm sensitive I started writing this post and then deleted it because I didn't feel right about publishing it. And then I wrote it again. And I'm sure I'll still feel sick to my stomach when I push publish. And I'm sure I'll lie in bed regretting that I published it. However, let me tell you something.

If my blog annoys you, I have an easy peasy solution. DON'T READ IT. Period.

Simple enough.  Wouldn't you agree?

But, if you're still interested in reading…I'll still be here writing.  For me, for you and for my dad!